AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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