ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
