Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
