I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
