i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
