We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
