There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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