he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize