dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
