Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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