her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
