Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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