There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
