just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
