We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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