Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
