Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize
