If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
