I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just google imaged poop.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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