The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
