She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
