I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
