I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
