well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize