Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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