Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
and she was petting her beer can
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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