just come out here and I will go home with you...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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