hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
