It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
