I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
