You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
