Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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