Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize