I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
