Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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