my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
