With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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