oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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