we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
