I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
