His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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