i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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