We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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