yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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