it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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