She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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