Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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