Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
