Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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