I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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