That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
