Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
