My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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