i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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