I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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