i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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