I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
