The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
