You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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